Do Mom and Dad Need Help?

How to Spot the Subtle Signs It’s Time to Step In

We often don’t live close enough to our aging parents to notice the slow decline of their physical or mental health. So when something seems off during a visit, it’s worth taking a closer look — even if that means doing a little gentle snooping.

The Call That Changes Everything

“Steve, it’s Dad. I’m sorry to bother you at 2:00 a.m., but I’m on the floor.”

When the phone rings in the middle of the night, it’s rarely good news. In our house, it happened more often than I’d like to admit. We were lucky — we lived 15 minutes away. But for many, caregiving is complicated by distance, young kids at home, and the constant juggling act that comes with being part of the sandwich generation.

The truth is, we’re all going to get that call eventually. The only question is: Will you be

prepared?

Step One: Look for the Signs

Your parents may not ask for help. They might not even realize they need it. That’s why it’s important to observe, assess, and plan ahead. When visiting, take note of any changes in their environment or behavior. Look for consistent patterns — not just isolated incidents.

Here’s What to Watch For:

• Mobility issues: Trouble walking, getting in/out of chairs or the car, or frequent falls

• Personal care decline: Infrequent bathing, unchanged clothes, or issues with grooming

• Hygiene or bathroom safety: Difficulty getting in/out of the tub or managing fasteners and zippers

• Eating habits: Empty fridge, expired food, or a shift toward unhealthy snacks

• Household upkeep: Clutter, unpaid bills, or things out of place that weren’t before even small shifts can signal that something bigger is going on.

Don’t Panic — Plan

When you’re prepared, a crisis becomes just another problem to solve. Once you’ve identified a need, you can begin building a support system — whether that means modifying the home, bringing in help, or involving a medical professional.

Helping your parents safely age in place starts with a clear-eyed look at their current abilities and challenges.

Excerpted from Age in Place – A Guide to Modifying, Organizing and Decluttering Mom and Dad’s Home Practical strategies to keep your loved ones safe — and keep you sane.